Confession #4: I Don’t Always Like Myself / The Thank You Experiment

I started this post a while back and quickly forgot about it (as I do with most of them). But as I was tidying up my drafts folder this afternoon, it caught my eye—likely because I recently read this related post from one of my favorite bloggers and because the same thing came up in discussion during yoga teacher training a few weeks ago.

As a group of 8 women, there was a not-so-surprising revelation that we all have some things we don’t like about ourselves and that we frequently have difficulty accepting/believing any compliments we receive (from family, from significant others…from anyone, really).

Our conversation reminded me of something I had started to do earlier this year: my so-called “Thank You Experiment.” My fiancé compliments me ALL THE TIME (it’s terrible), and my immediate reaction is always to counter with something negative, turn it back on him (e.g., “No, YOU’RE the cute one!”), or just dismiss it and try to change the subject as quickly as possible. Recognizing that this is wildly unhealthy and probably a turn-off—after all, confidence is sexy right?—I knew my behavior needed a makeover.

So instead of falling back on my typical responses, I began making a conscious effort to simply say “thank you” any time Tim said something nice. It was incredibly difficult, but the more I did it, the more I actually started to believe some of the things he was saying. It worked surprisingly well for a few months, until my old habits crept back into the picture and I sort of abandoned the experiment.

But now I have a renewed interest in learning how to not only accept compliments, but also how to believe them. Since most of all of my issues are related to poor body image, I’m pretty sure that between applying some of those nifty NEDA tips (lookin’ at you number 9—TREAT YO SELF) and bringing the Thank You Experiment back into my life, I can make some progress. It’s just not going to happen overnight and it’s something I will have to actually put some effort into. As corny as it may sound, I know that somewhere deep inside me is a girl who loves herself…I just have to convince her to come hang out with me for a while.

Tell me: Is this something you’ve struggled with too? How did you “fix” it? Did something just finally click one day to make you KNOW that you are beautiful/wonderful/strong/whatever you previously thought you weren’t?

*Please note that my use of this particular image does NOT signify that I have an eating disorder. I most certainly do not. (So don’t worry, Mom!) I simply find these tips to be beneficial for anyone who may need some help learning how to like themselves a little more.